That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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