Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
