It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
