I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize