And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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