How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
