I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
