I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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