xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
