I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
