i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize