Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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