we're blogging at a bar
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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