so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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