what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
