porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
