i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
