that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
