You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
