But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
