So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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