i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
