thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
