if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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