how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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