So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize