oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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