i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
