hotel room ftw
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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