They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
