Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
