i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize