The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
