So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
