Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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