4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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