wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
