Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
