so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
