question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
