Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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