and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
