Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
