Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
