i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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