I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize