Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
