yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
