He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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