you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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