..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
