god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
