I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
