Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
