I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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