So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
