she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize