does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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