His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
