sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just cropdusted the office
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
