butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
