Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
