at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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