he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
