Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
