You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
