Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
