since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
