Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
