I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
